Cheyenne, WY-Oh mama I'm in fear of my life from the long arm of the law

I've always wanted to spend a night here. Its a cowboy town and I believe in another life I have actually been a gunless Cherokee.
After a restless, cramp-inducing night at wal-Mart I decided to splurge and get a mom and pop motel in downtown Cheyenne. I spied a sign that read, "Ranger Motel, $29.99 and up." The mom and pop that own the Ranger Motel are probably named Pritam and Gurinder, (did I use that line already?). Again I'm shocked at how Indians come all the way to the US and end up in a cowboy town where they are perhaps not so popular.
The smell of curry sucker-punched me as I entered the office. why Indiand dont try another spice is beyond me. I was took a curry dump and watched nearby cat shit get up and walk away.
I said, "Do you have any $29 rooms?"
Pritam responded in his native accent with "Just for you.". I'm sure he uses this line 8 times a night.
I showered and was ready to hit a nearby cowboy bar when Idecided to check my bank balance. The impending Labor day created a withdrawl snafu I han't not anticipated. All the bills set to be paid on Mon were moved up a day because of the holiday, but the $ I'd arranged to cover them wouldn't clear until Tue. I have less than $250 to my name for the next 5 days. I have a 10 hour drive to my next stop, then another 10 hours to my first gig on Monday. I dont have enough $ for food, gas and lodging. Suddenly wal-mart wasn't so bad.
I decided to take inventory. I have;
$249
3/4 tank of gas
1 banana
5 apples
4 bottles of water
lots of booze
The western gas stations haven't caught on to making people pre-pay for gas, so I see a string of drive-offs in my future. The western cops also hasn't caught on to letting petty criminals go while they search for felons so I'm sure if I'm caught I'll hang.
I had a wrestless 5 hour sleep, dreaming of being locked up in a Cheyenne jail, whislting for greased Lightning to bring me the cell door key.
I decided to call my mther and aks her to put $100 in my bank so I can avoid running out of gas in the desert. She put in $200! I'm a mama's boy! Perhaps a low point for a 43 year old man but I can now eat oatmeal and toast, which I did at the Renegade diner and Chinese restaraunt in Rawlins, WY

Cross Country II - Electric Boogaloo

I started my 2nd cross country trip today. I didn't want to do it again but my former managers set up s string of South Dakota roadhouse gigs for me, after I do some work on the west coast. I'm not sure my car wants this trip either. I've put 24,000 miles on it since I bought it on March 29. I have nightmarish visions of Greased Lightning coughing up blood and dying in Assream Montana, on a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair. The only people around are wearing overalls with other people's blood stains in the crotch. I approach a large farmboy who sheepishly hands me a bouquet of sunflowers before "courting" me.

I drove from NYC to Detroit, then to Chicago. I got a late start before hitting I-80, henceforth know as the colon of the west.
I stopped in Des Moine Iowa and tried to do a guest spot but the owner wasn't around and the manager was too fearful to let me on stage. I spoke with John Bush, a comedian that once lived in New York City. The middle act, who's name I forgot, mentioned he sometimes sleeps in Wal-Mart parking lots to save $. They offer overnight parking to RV's and have video cameras to ensure a safe night's sleep for Winnebago white trash. I decided this mightbe a good way to save a few $ and found a Wal -Mart 60 miles west of Des Moine. Nothing makes you feel more alive than to brush your teeth with a bottle of water n a Wal Mart parking lot.
I chose a spot clearly in a camera's view, rolled the seat back and slept,...until 2:00 a.m. That's when the work crew came to replace the "cart corrals". I imagine this is the only work these good ole boys have had in months as they went about replacing the steel corrals with loud glee.
As luck would have it, this is a 24 hour Wal-Mart thus allowing me all the conviences necessary for an early morning poop.

Sterling Heights, MI

My run of gigs in the Dakotas was thankfully cancelled. Tonight my parents and I went to a nearby bar called Mesquite where we ate, drank and played keno. I'm actually up $20. I rang the bell with every $2 winner I had. I was appalled that I won this time as I always lose. More shockingly, none of us got hammered.

Milwaukee, WI

I'm staying at the Milwaukee Athetic Club. It's an old hotel and it's quite swanky. I wish more gigs put me up in places like this. Last night I was doing a shitty bar gig in Manitowoc. they put me up in a Super 8 that reeked of mildew. Tonight I worked the big theatre at Potowatamie Casino.

I hung out at a bar called Pitch's just off Brady St. it's one of my fave bars in the country. I always drink Kessler whiskey and ginger ale there in honor of my Grandma Laing. This was her poison. She started drinking them every day at noon. At this time she would say to me. "Tell grandpa the bar is open" and grandpa would serve up the clown juice. whenever she wanted another she'd hand me the glass and say "Tell grandpa, 'refill'". refill was probably one of my first words. Byt the time i was 6 I was making highballs for granny myself. We weren't allowed to drink the Canada Dry ginger ale as it was for highballs only, but as we got older and savvier my brother and I would sneek a sip of the luscious libation. The Kessler whisky never appealed to us, even in our teen years. We just want canada dry- the forbidden ginger ale.

Sault Ste Marie, MI

My brother alerted me to another Dillinger hide out spot and I found it with the help of an elderly neighbour who remembered which house it was AND Dillnger's friend that was with him. The Kewadin gigs here and in St Ignace went well. StIgnace had only 30 people at the show but S.S.M. had a ton. I hung out and sang karaoke with some people from houghton. I couldn't drink as much as they can.
I took my TRACKER IV! metal detector to an old lumber farm. I found an old piece of barbed wire and some metal tool parts I can't recognize. the latter were found behind the lumber farm buried in a dirt road used my Michigan rednecks as an ATV lane and by bears as a toilet. I got a TON of hits and wanted to stay longer but the legendary Upper Peninsula mosquitoes were feasting on me.
I also went to a "ghost town" which was really just an old train depot. Someone had build a house right next to it and was using it for storage. I wanted to explore it but they had a sign on their front door that had an image of a gun and below it it said "We dont call 911".
I later stopped at an old abandonded house to look around. Pictures coming soon.

Atlantic City, NJ

I've just worked my way from the west coast to the east coast. I've gathered sand from both coasts as a souvenir.
I hate this town but I'm pleased to have 7 nights of free food and NO driving. Greased Lightning needs a break too.

Manitowash Waters, WI

My brother Pat is a true crime author. He asks me where I'm at on the road and 14 minutes later has a gangster site for me to visit. Today's site was a lodge called Little Bohemia. Dillinger and his boys had a shoot out with Melvin Purvis and his g-men here. The owners preserved the bullet holes in the windows. They had a display case showing all the stuff Dillinger left behind- an overnight kit, a duffel bag, etc. I took a look around, had Bohemia t-shirt and hit the road. this was without a doubt the coolest thing I've seen yet.