Atlantic City, NJ

I've just worked my way from the west coast to the east coast. I've gathered sand from both coasts as a souvenir.
I hate this town but I'm pleased to have 7 nights of free food and NO driving. Greased Lightning needs a break too.

Manitowash Waters, WI

My brother Pat is a true crime author. He asks me where I'm at on the road and 14 minutes later has a gangster site for me to visit. Today's site was a lodge called Little Bohemia. Dillinger and his boys had a shoot out with Melvin Purvis and his g-men here. The owners preserved the bullet holes in the windows. They had a display case showing all the stuff Dillinger left behind- an overnight kit, a duffel bag, etc. I took a look around, had Bohemia t-shirt and hit the road. this was without a doubt the coolest thing I've seen yet.

Little Big Horn, MT

I saw where Custer, his brother and many soldiers were killed at the Little Big horn as there is a stone marking the spot where the soldiers were found. A tour guide told us they have since found evidence of another skirmish. No one really knows what happened here. Thus far my biggest kick on this trip.
I then had to powere-drive to Bismarck, ND to sleep but somehow EVERY room in the town is booked. It must be a convention of meth-heads. It was dead-tired but had to go another 90 minutes to a town with a name I can't recall now. I found a trgic motel with videos to rent but no one was manningthe desk. I spend and extra $25 and got a room with no crack-whores or sex offenders sleeping nearby. I think it was a good move.

I-84, nowhere , OR

I was driving along I-84 in Oregon at about 10:00 pm. My gas light was on. I had about 10 miles left.I thought I'd run out of gas and get gang-raped by a group of recent prison escapees. Then I found her!



Kelly and Texaco saved my ass!

Boise, ID

I'm at a coffee shop downtown listening to a hipster guy in a scarf bore his friends with talk about his "script". He thinks he might want to make it a major motion picture but feels the indy approach is more his speed.

I killed two nights in Portland and Tues here in Boise. The bartender here in Boise is 5'11" has red hair and is hot. I met her here last week. I drank at her bar. She got drunk and flirted with me and the other 7 guys drinking there. I invited her to a show. She didn't show up but came to the club to get me afterward. She again flirted with every guy near her and twice lifter her mini skirt to show me her bare ass, (it's a nice one). We then went to a couple of other bars and made out briefly. She's leaving for the weekend.
I'm glad I'm not driving every day but I'm about to hit the level of loneliness that reulsts in a self-inflicted knife wound to the wrist.

The potentially indy script writer is actually pitching his script to the people with him. I wonder if he knows he's in Boise.

The Oregon Trail, OR

Today I actually walked on a piece of the original Oregon Trail! That sort of stuff knocks me out.

Grand Ronde, OR

I stopped on the Oregon Pacific coast line. A gorgeous place that I can't get enough of. I broke the law and took some sand. My tour is taking me from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic. I'll have sand from both oceans in seperate jars.



The gig tonight was in an Indian casino, in a restaraunt. Most of the 20 people didn't even know there was a show. It was a battle and I was kind of annoyed with the whole thing. A lesbian sporting a classic mullet walked out on me.

On the other hand, I got paid and have a free hotel room for the night. A true blessing as I'm spending WAY more $$ than I'd anticipated. None of these gigs pay on the spot either, they all pay by check which gets mailed to me. I'm moving a lot of cash into my checking account so that I can afford gas and food.

Medford, OR

If there was ever a town that needed an angry Mount Vesuvius it's Medford. The only saving grace here is a bar built next to a Chinese restaurant, (I can't recall the name of it- Dan's Hideaway maybe). I drank Bud Light-Lime there and got stared at by a Charlie Daniels look-alike. I think Medford is the meth-lab capitol of the country.
The Friday night gig was a nightmare. A toothless woman came in late and sat alone, and procedded to asker me things like, "What do you think of the Federal Reserve?" Then two hillbilly couples came in and started yelling. One of the women came on stage and simulated a lap dance for me. They were so obnoxious they gave me $20 after the show. Then the manager yelled at me about the lap dance. The show on Saturday went well but another freak showed up.

Tulalip, WA

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Boise, ID

I went on priceline and got a GREAT room for $35- WAHOO! Its a great place to watch the Red Wings lose what I'd hope would be their 2nd straight cup.
I wnet down to the bar asked the tall, saucy red-haired bartender if she'd have the game on. she said she would and then made flirty small talk. I chose to watch the game in my room so that she wouldn't see me in all my Red Wing paraphanelia. I wnt down after the game and she'd been replaced by a jolly man that wanted to talk about alternative music, which he assumed I was into because I'm from NYC.
I also listened to three drunk people pretend they were hysterical. I'm sure they'll got to work tomorrow and say, "That poor bartender, were were SO mean to him! HAHAHAHAHAHA".

Green River, WY

Wyoming rivals Alaska in beauty. I drove through the state in a light rain. I wondered how the rock formations were formed and moments later pulled over to a site that explaned it all, (bottom line- erosion). Gas is a deliciously low $2.39 a gallon, unless you buy it in the boon ies like I did. It was $2.69.
I ate dinner at the Krazy Moose Lounge listening to a 9?11 conspiracy choad bore the 3 other patrons. I drank PBR in a can. They didn't have bottles.
I am at the Coachman Inn. If I were a drug deal, this is where I'd go. If I disappear, this is where they got me.

UPDATE- I took a shower this morning and the shower floor was slimier than a carp.
"Plantars warts, party of 10."
Also, I got a look at the other mom and pop motels on Green River's "strip". I owe the Coahman Inn an apology.

York, NE

I started my cross-country road trip today. I'm driving from Detroit to Seattle and working my way east to Atlantic city, NJ. My first gig is June 10 at the Tulalip casino north of Seattle.
I stopped at the World Biggest Truck Stop in Iowa for breakfast. I sat at the counter with truckers. If you were there I was the guy in thedisco-white leather jacket.
I am now at the Yorkshire Motel in York, NE. They gave me an "underground" room. It had a window that looked out onto a hole that was dug for sunlight. They were kind enough to paint a mural on the wall of the hole. I asked for another room.
As I sit here typing I realized there was something sticky on the bottom of my right big toe. I washed it off and returned. I just realized another toe on the same foot has something sticky on it. I sit here hoping beyond hope it's syrup from todays continental breakfast thogh I'm certain it's DNA launched from last night's traveller. I guess it was silly of me to hope I'd be the first man to masturbate in this room.
I watched "Harold and Kumar escape Guantanemo Bay". It taught me that weed is king, rascism is bad and fecal matter is the funniest thing ever. I'm considering sueing HBO for my 90 minutes back.

El Paso, TX

I have a great hotel room. I've been ssitting naked and unseen on my balcony all week, smoking cigars and watching hockey.