I've always wanted to spend a night here. Its a cowboy town and I believe in another life I have actually been a gunless Cherokee.
After a restless, cramp-inducing night at wal-Mart I decided to splurge and get a mom and pop motel in downtown Cheyenne. I spied a sign that read, "Ranger Motel, $29.99 and up." The mom and pop that own the Ranger Motel are probably named Pritam and Gurinder, (did I use that line already?). Again I'm shocked at how Indians come all the way to the US and end up in a cowboy town where they are perhaps not so popular.
The smell of curry sucker-punched me as I entered the office. why Indiand dont try another spice is beyond me. I was took a curry dump and watched nearby cat shit get up and walk away.
I said, "Do you have any $29 rooms?"
Pritam responded in his native accent with "Just for you.". I'm sure he uses this line 8 times a night.
I showered and was ready to hit a nearby cowboy bar when Idecided to check my bank balance. The impending Labor day created a withdrawl snafu I han't not anticipated. All the bills set to be paid on Mon were moved up a day because of the holiday, but the $ I'd arranged to cover them wouldn't clear until Tue. I have less than $250 to my name for the next 5 days. I have a 10 hour drive to my next stop, then another 10 hours to my first gig on Monday. I dont have enough $ for food, gas and lodging. Suddenly wal-mart wasn't so bad.
I decided to take inventory. I have;
$249
3/4 tank of gas
1 banana
5 apples
4 bottles of water
lots of booze
The western gas stations haven't caught on to making people pre-pay for gas, so I see a string of drive-offs in my future. The western cops also hasn't caught on to letting petty criminals go while they search for felons so I'm sure if I'm caught I'll hang.
I had a wrestless 5 hour sleep, dreaming of being locked up in a Cheyenne jail, whislting for greased Lightning to bring me the cell door key.
I decided to call my mther and aks her to put $100 in my bank so I can avoid running out of gas in the desert. She put in $200! I'm a mama's boy! Perhaps a low point for a 43 year old man but I can now eat oatmeal and toast, which I did at the Renegade diner and Chinese restaraunt in Rawlins, WY
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Cross Country II - Electric Boogaloo
I started my 2nd cross country trip today. I didn't want to do it again but my former managers set up s string of South Dakota roadhouse gigs for me, after I do some work on the west coast. I'm not sure my car wants this trip either. I've put 24,000 miles on it since I bought it on March 29. I have nightmarish visions of Greased Lightning coughing up blood and dying in Assream Montana, on a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair. The only people around are wearing overalls with other people's blood stains in the crotch. I approach a large farmboy who sheepishly hands me a bouquet of sunflowers before "courting" me.
I drove from NYC to Detroit, then to Chicago. I got a late start before hitting I-80, henceforth know as the colon of the west.
I stopped in Des Moine Iowa and tried to do a guest spot but the owner wasn't around and the manager was too fearful to let me on stage. I spoke with John Bush, a comedian that once lived in New York City. The middle act, who's name I forgot, mentioned he sometimes sleeps in Wal-Mart parking lots to save $. They offer overnight parking to RV's and have video cameras to ensure a safe night's sleep for Winnebago white trash. I decided this mightbe a good way to save a few $ and found a Wal -Mart 60 miles west of Des Moine. Nothing makes you feel more alive than to brush your teeth with a bottle of water n a Wal Mart parking lot.
I chose a spot clearly in a camera's view, rolled the seat back and slept,...until 2:00 a.m. That's when the work crew came to replace the "cart corrals". I imagine this is the only work these good ole boys have had in months as they went about replacing the steel corrals with loud glee.
As luck would have it, this is a 24 hour Wal-Mart thus allowing me all the conviences necessary for an early morning poop.
I drove from NYC to Detroit, then to Chicago. I got a late start before hitting I-80, henceforth know as the colon of the west.
I stopped in Des Moine Iowa and tried to do a guest spot but the owner wasn't around and the manager was too fearful to let me on stage. I spoke with John Bush, a comedian that once lived in New York City. The middle act, who's name I forgot, mentioned he sometimes sleeps in Wal-Mart parking lots to save $. They offer overnight parking to RV's and have video cameras to ensure a safe night's sleep for Winnebago white trash. I decided this mightbe a good way to save a few $ and found a Wal -Mart 60 miles west of Des Moine. Nothing makes you feel more alive than to brush your teeth with a bottle of water n a Wal Mart parking lot.
I chose a spot clearly in a camera's view, rolled the seat back and slept,...until 2:00 a.m. That's when the work crew came to replace the "cart corrals". I imagine this is the only work these good ole boys have had in months as they went about replacing the steel corrals with loud glee.
As luck would have it, this is a 24 hour Wal-Mart thus allowing me all the conviences necessary for an early morning poop.
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